I don't know what to write

I don't want to change

I don't want to be that person

I've just proven people right

I want to change things that have happened

I don't think I ask for much

I want to take off

I don't want to fall asleep tonight

I'll have nightmares I know

Pathetic really...

I can still remember the day I found my 15 year old sister chucking her guts up down the family's bathroom toilet. I can still remember the day i found a condom packet in her jean pocket. I can still remember the day she peered over my new born baby as a small 11 year old. I can still remember the day after I had Neva how she said to me she would never have kids. Especially as Neva 'screamed incredible amounts'. Yet here she was telling me she was pregnant. My baby 15 year old sister who still had four teddy bears on her bed and found more enjoyment out of a glass of cherry aid than a glass of red wine. She told me and I immediately wanted to slap her. Only 4 years ago I was in the same situation just a wee bit older. I knew exactly how she was feeling. Alone, isolated and scared. Before I found that condom I never even knew she had kissed a guy yet alone done the full malarkey. It was scary to say the least. I was the one suppose to be in love with my boyfriend and starting a family, still young myself! I wanted to kill the bastard who had done this to my sister. Seeing her sat there with tears flowing down her face and sick in her hair, She's still only a baby herself.

Who wants stretch marks and droopy boobs before they're even 20?

I hated it when somebody said to me 'What a shame' How very rude of them to judge and make assumptions when they clearly have no idea. Teenage pregnancies are described as 'continual' problems in the world today. We all have them: Little bits of prejudice that we don't like to admit to. Nevertheless, they are there and they hurt. They have an impact on the way we view the world, whether we like it or not. There are many words for it - profiling, bias, stereotyping, ageism.

How can you be positive during your pregnancy when all you feel is regret for the innocent life growing inside you? How do you tell your parents with out them being ashamed of you? How do you even begin to tell the father? Teenage pregnancy isn't a problem. It's life. Welcome to the 21st century.

Happy Birthday to the beautiful Alfie Benjamin Nadiaon born on the 5th July 2009 x

One word. Wow.

No one expected that now did they?

Apparently twitter was going absolutely crazy while i was tucked up like a baby in bed with a cold flannel on my head.

The news filtered through the many festival Goers at Glastonbury too and people were instantly making banners for the 'King of Pop'. I think I'm going to be really controversial here because the whole thing has actually annoyed me.

Yes it's a very sad and sudden death and i feel for his family let alone his poor kids who now do not have a father. He had a huge impact on the music industry and the fashion industry too. Just remember those Jackson five outfits!

However to say music will never be the same again is a slight (refrained from using the word 'wee' there) exaggeration don't you think? There are so many great artists out there..feel free to have your opinion and not being nasty or anything, but i can't say i listened to Michael Jackson regularly. The last time he created a new song was what in the 90's? Understandable though that a lot of celebrities have said Michael Jackson has influenced their music etc etc etc. They are hardly going to say 'Oh Michael Jackson is shit' though are they?

He himself is one man (should i say was now?) who always had people wanting to know why he did such erratic things. Tales of oxygen chambers, physical transformations ( he so had surgery!) and elaborate shopping sprees, let alone dangling his baby son over a balcony. Yes Michael you may have been 'holding him tight' but why do it in the first place?

Without a single doubt it is very sad to lose a musical artist of his size just like that out of the blue, but for me Michael Jackson will always be remembered for his fashion sense.

Who else gets away with a sequined glove, military jackets (maybe Coldplay), white socks paired with loafers (guys don't even go there) and aviator shades with red strong-shouldered leather jackets. For Fashionistas his image was just as strong as his sound.

I know there are some huge Jackson fans out there and you might have a lot to say to this but everyone is entiltled to their own opinion. Right?

Changing the subject slightly. I also heard some amazing news yesterday which i am so very happy about. Not allowed to say anything at the moment but I'd just like to say for whom it may concern, you know who you are!, I am SO happy for you. Mwah! x

RIP Wacko Jacko x

An Insight into Women's language

"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me
"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]
"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

The 17 secrets you never need to share.

1) That you do pelvic-floor exercises to get you through that really dull meeting.

2) You got ever so drunk one night, pulled the horrible, but inexplicably magnetic, barman in your local, and it was HOT

3) That you once dreamt you snogged your uncle. Not even the slighly good looking one

4) About the one time you just couldn't wait and peed in the bush outside your house.

5) Every now and then, you have to pluck out an extremely long, blonde facial hair.

6) You've tried desperately not to, but you still fancy one of your boyfriend's friends.

7) You sometimes irrationally fret that ghosts do exist and thus your long- dead grandma can see every little immoral thing you do.

8) Whenever you walk past a building site, you pretend to talk on your mobile to avoid the 'Alright, sweetheart?' sleazy chat.

9) You shoplifted a mars bar when you were 12- and felt a delicious thrill from getting away it it.

10) You talk to your cat in a baby voice.

11)The insane jealousy you feel for your little sister, who looks just like you- Only younger. Not fair

12) That you couldn't find Poland on the map if your life depended on it.

13) You'll never understand why people thing sex on a beach is romatic. You want sand there!?

14) that you think your friends baby looks like Yoda from Star Wars.

15)You've been known to look at his facebook photo's up to, oh, three times a day.

16) You agree with Sex and The City's Samantha that, ''they dont call it a a blow job for nothing, honey''

17) That the gorgeous three-course ''home cooked'' meal you served his parents wasn't just food, It was M&S food.